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Having spent 8 months in the library, most likely labouring to a hefty 30% productivity rate, I used the remaining time to grasp the lucrative opportunity of evaluating the 'things that really matter'. An emotional comfort in those times of anxiety where I was presented with the logic that should I fail my degree, by academias standards, I fail at life. Living independently from my family and being a single young woman, I found that my sanity was anchored in the support network provided by my close friendships. Not that I ever considered taking these relationships for granted, but it became quickly noticeable to all of us how rapidly the weave of our tight knit group strung tighter over these challenging months. From my personal experience, I never quite got into a routine. This meant that I clung to the work schedule of others, hoping to find my rhythm. There were those who preferred to work 9-5, there were those who worked late afternoon to midnight and finally there was one who worked through the depths of the night. As I promiscuously flitted between these allotted work periods, attempting to find my intellectual peak, there would always be somebody tasking through the workload available to offer calming advice. However grateful I am, I feel in debt to those who lent a kind hand to me as, throughout each and every report, project and exam we encountered, I was procrastinating and avoiding the assignment to the highest degree. So in an attempt to repay their kindness I hope I can manifest the accurate words to voice my gratitude (warning: poetic and heartfelt content). So here goes, a letter to each and every one of you. You know who you are.
Dear friends,
My inspiration for this, as always, comes from Lena Dunham. Her simple diagnosis of the close relationships between women are attributed instantly in my mind to you.
'I think about my best friendship as like a great romance of my young life'.
This holds true, throughout the last year particularly. There has been tears, laughter and everything inbetween but the result has always been steady and humbling. I am not one to quickly trust fate as the explanation for a good thing but it appears too coincidental that we have been placed adjacently for no other apparent reason than to be friends. I am unafraid to be romantic or poetic when I say that I am the richest I have ever been in my life. When attempting to place a value on our friendship I find I am stopped in my tracks as the answer always calculates as priceless.
Every wrong thing I say isn't an example of my mistakes which linger on a list and get longer. They are simply said then evaporate, never to be used as a tool of ammunition to shock. For you to be a true and concrete friend to me has the utmost gravity in my life, keeping me grounded as I stumble through life perhaps more clumsily than others. My tendency to be too honest makes others squirm or provokes uncomfortable silences, you join in or laugh lightly. Though we may not always be on the same wavelength, I am never made to feel below you as you ultimately accept my individual brand of thought processes.
How lucky I find myself to not possess each of you, but to fit beside you effortlessly with no fear of intrusion. How lucky I find myself to know this feeling of absolution amongst human beings at only 21 years old. How lucky I find myself to be searching for a word to explain this phenomenon between us because 'friend' seems just inadequate in comparison to what you actually are to me.
If you feel just half of what I do for you, I will have achieved my greatest accomplishment. When life prescribes me trouble, you are the remedy always, and for that I thank you.
<3 <3 <3
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